YES, MOM I'M WEARING CLEAN UNDERWEAR!

“Yes Mom, I’m wearing clean underwear.”

There is a flaw in this protective memory ability given to mankind. Take for example the capability to forget the pain of labor. That is not just to relieve the poor mother of the trauma of childbirth, but also to dim the memory of pain so you do not take it out on your children. Some women’s memories are better then others and this causes them to yell things like, “You know how getting into heaven is like taking a camel through the eye of a needle? Well, bringing you into this world was like taking an elephant through that same needle! You sooooo owe me!”

Memory failure is an affliction that has no gender prejudice. Males too begin to forget things, as they grow older. For instance the other day my daughter returned home late from high school. The school is located directly across the street from our house. Her father began lecturing her on staying late to talk when she had homework. I reminded him later that when he was seventeen He was in the Marines and had a tattoo, had been drunk, and made a few other unwise decisions. Seems like he had forgotten his youthful hyjinks.

I guess I have forgotten a little what it was like to be a teenager also. My daughter says that I embarrass her. “Honey” I pleaded just the other day. “I just asked you if you were wearing clean underwear before the tournament in case you were knocked out and had to be taken to the hospital. I was trying to save you from the embarrassment of dirty skivvies.”

“Mom,” she replied agitated. “You were the announcer and you didn’t turn off the microphone!”

I had to admit, I had used that protective memory loss to get past all the distress my parents had caused by their loving but humiliating interference in my budding teen independence.

The road goes both ways though because teenagers also suffer from recollection deficits.
They forget that not so long ago they crawled in under the covers with you when they swore the boogey man was under their bed. They forget that they embarrassed you when they laid on the floor of the store screaming at the top of their three year old lungs, “My mommy is mean.” They forget that giving you a kiss and hug in public does not cause the world to implode.

Right this minute I’m having a moment of clarity. I remember what it was like to be young, but I also remember that I am a mom, so honey, I love you and I hope your wearing clean underwear (just in case).