Internet Dating

INTERNET DATING


I’m not sure what the statistics are, but as I head for fiftyfour, a great many girlfriends of mine, through the trials of their lives are finding themselves back in the singles category. This category puts them into another category, the looking for love category. In other words dating.

Well things have changed since they were younger, and the fastest most convenient, shopping for a man market, is now done with a modem or high-speed dial up. Enter the world of personal ads and blurry pictures.

One of my best friends has been trying this avenue. Although she has not dialed up love with a mass murderer (we think) her luck has not been great either. I feel there should be a school on interpretation of on-line personal ads. One that teaches you to read between the lines such as:

His statement:

v I like to stay in and watch movies and pop popcorn.

What he really means:

v I’m under house arrest, so we have to stay in.

His statement:

v Occasionally drinks.

What he really means:

v Water, that is, beer is a daily necessity.

He says:

v I share a cozy cottage with a family member.

He means:

v I still live with my Mom.

He says:

v I like taking long walks.

He means:

v I can’t afford gas and the bus stop is two miles from my apartment.

I think you get the drift. Well the last guy she met on the Internet she decided was not for her and he just does not seem to be getting the hint. I think she should try a few of these excuses they might help him get it.

Excuses:

1. I can’t go out right now I think I caught a virus from the computer. Did you use Purex before you e-mailed me?

2. I can’t go out on Thursday that is my dermatologist appointment for my facial wax.

3. Maybe next week, I’m almost finished with the final touches on my sex change operation.

Or she could just tell him the truth, I’m an almost fifty-year-old woman, going through menopause, and I’m not responsible for my hormonal actions that could include murder!

I am not single. However, the other day was a hard marriage day and when contemplating running away, my friend simply reminded me of the modern dating scene and I decided to stay put.